How Parents Can Raise Kids with Strong People Skills

As parents, we all want our children to grow into confident, kind, and emotionally intelligent individuals. These skills don’t develop automatically—kids learn them through everyday interactions with parents, caregivers, and peers. Kelsey Mora, a Certified Child Life Specialist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, has spent years helping children build emotional resilience and social skills. She shares six parenting strategies that can help children develop strong interpersonal skills.

Encourage Honest, Age-Appropriate Conversations

Discussing difficult topics like illness, loss, or big life changes with children can feel challenging, but avoiding these conversations may undermine trust. Mora emphasizes the importance of open and honest communication. Parents should use simple, age-appropriate language and create a safe space for kids to ask questions and express concerns.

Instead of avoiding a tough topic, parents might say, “I know this is a hard thing to talk about, but I’m here to help you understand and answer any questions you have.” This reassurance teaches children that emotional honesty is both welcome and valued.

Help Kids Understand and Express Their Emotions

Emotional intelligence begins with recognizing and processing feelings. Parents who openly express both joyful and difficult emotions set an important example. Rather than dismissing emotions with phrases like “You’ll be fine” or “Don’t cry,” parents can validate their child’s feelings.

Mora suggests using phrases such as, “I see you’re feeling upset. That makes sense,” or “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m here with you.” These responses help children feel understood, making it easier for them to develop emotional regulation.

Teach Empathy Through Perspective-Taking

Empathy is essential for building strong relationships. Instead of forcing children to give an immediate apology, parents can help them understand how their actions affect others. Asking questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?” or “What do you think would help them feel better?” encourages kids to see things from another perspective.

By approaching conflicts this way, children learn to apologize sincerely rather than just saying the words out of obligation. Over time, this approach strengthens their ability to form meaningful connections.

Encourage Independent Problem-Solving and Boundary-Setting

It’s natural for parents to want to step in and fix problems for their children, but encouraging independent problem-solving strengthens their confidence. Mora recommends asking, “What do you think we could try to make this better?” or “Would you like some ideas, or do you want to try something first?”

Additionally, teaching kids how to set boundaries is crucial. Knowing how to say, “I don’t like that. Please stop,” or “I need some space,” empowers children to assert themselves in social situations.

Prepare Kids for New Social Experiences

Feeling anxious about unfamiliar situations is normal for both children and adults. Parents can ease these transitions by explaining what to expect. For example, before a doctor’s visit, a parent might say, “At the doctor’s office, they will check your height, listen to your heart, and look inside your mouth.”

Role-playing can also help. If a child is nervous about responding to peer pressure, parents can practice different scenarios with them. This approach gives kids confidence in handling social interactions.

Use Play as a Learning Tool

Play is not just for fun—it’s a valuable way for children to process emotions and develop social skills. Parents can use play to help kids navigate challenging feelings. A parent might say, “Let’s pretend to blow out birthday candles to help calm down,” or “Can you show me what being a grumpy bear looks like?” These playful interactions allow children to express emotions safely and creatively.

Why These Strategies Matter

Social and emotional intelligence isn’t something children automatically acquire—it’s a skill they develop through consistent modeling and practice. When parents engage in open conversations, validate emotions, and encourage empathy and problem-solving, they equip their children with essential lifelong skills.

By applying these strategies, parents help their kids build strong communication and relationship skills while preparing them to navigate life’s challenges with confidence. Nurturing emotional intelligence from an early age is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children, setting the foundation for their future well-being.